If you have a narcissist in your family circle or in your group of friends or even business associates, then as someone who has personal experience of the threat posed by such people, here are some pointers that will enable you to recognise the species. The reason why I am alerting all and sundry to this threat to their wellbeing is because – if you know what you are facing, then you can take practical steps to extricate yourself from the clutches of such a person. Such people are NOT EVIL. Just like most psychopaths, they are simply oblivious of the fact that they are narcissists.
They live in a special world wherein they KNOW THAT THEY ARE SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHER HUMANS. Their world consists of themselves, who they deem to be superior to all others around them and others, who they KNOW ARE SIMPLY THERE TO SUPPLY THEIR NEEDS! THEY THINK THE WORLD OWES THEM SOMETHING AND THEY KNOW THAT THEY ARE NEVER WRONG ABOUT ANYTHING!
If you are unfortunate enough to have a narcissist in your circle, and you have identified that they pose a threat to you, then you need to TAKE DRASTIC ACTION VERY SOON, OTHERWISE THEY WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY, as well as the lives of those around you.
They have absolutely no conscience about sponging from everyone else, for whatever they need and they have the capability to always present themselves in a very positive way until such time as they have you under their control; and then they will brainwash you into thinking that you are in the wrong about many things, while in their own view they remain ABSOLUTE SAINTS WHO CAN NEVER BE IN THE WRONG.
Whether they have a job or not; whether they are successful at what they do – and many are! is not important to them. What is important to them is to have their HELPERS TOTALLY UNDER THEIR CONTROL AT ALL TIMES.
They have a special talent for using EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL to fight back against anyone who has the temerity to stand up to them. In such instances, they will dredge up every incident; no matter how far back in the past it is, to accuse you of doing something wrong to them, and they will ruthlessly bring those actions to light to shift the blame onto you for your alleged sins. This is their primary weapon to defend themselves against any accusation of wrongdoing they have done to you in the past and in the present. They will not hesitate for a moment to use such tactics against you, no matter how much you have tried to help them when they needed help. If the narcissist is a member of your family, he/she will use whatever love or affection or sense of responsibility you still have, to guilt you into continuing to be a slave to their needs.
Should they be indebted to you; either financially or in some other way, then they will not give a damn about paying you back what they owe you as they consider themselves as being ENTITLED TO BE HELPED BY OTHERS at all times, without lifting a finger to pay back or reciprocate anything.
They are extremely good at LYING to get their way; and they don’t even seem to recognise when they tell lies. It is totally ingrained into their nature, so they do it automatically when they want something.
NOW FOR THE PUNCHLINE – HOW DO YOU GET
THE NARCISSIST OUT OF YOUR LIFE?
So – once you have decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! go face to face; eyeball to eyeball to him or her and present the facts of the situation you are facing cold bloodedly. Don’t go into detail or ramble on. Just state very simply what the problems you are facing are and how the decision you have ALREADY MADE is going to impact the narcissist. Show no emotion or sympathy and then refuse to discuss the matter further. Then walk away!
If any narcissists read this post; then they will either ignore it or attack whoever they think is attacking them personally – using their primary weapon of emotional blackmail If this happens – DO NOT SHOW ANY WEAKNESS OR VULNERABILITY – BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE NARCISSIST WANTS – TO BE BACK IN CONTROL. JUST WALK AWAY AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONTACT THEM OR FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM. ONLY IF YOU DO THAT WILL; YOU BE ABLE TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE!